I haven't sold an insurance policy today, but the day is still young. I've been working on training for the new computer system and a multitude of other boring things. I won't go into detail. I mean, it's insurance crap. I've had a stress headache for about 7 days now, and our savings account hasn't seen fresh blood in months. Dude. Being self-employed is NOT easy! On the bright side, I don't have to argue over which radio station to listen to. :-)

Yesterday I totally bounced out of work for a few hours and took the kid to the mall. Yes, I'm aware that I'm currently poor and not really getting any type of paycheck, but when I quit smoking I gained a few pounds. Now all my 10's are too snug so I had to find something to cover my rapidly expanding girth. Did I mention that I started smoking again? Yeah, now I'm all beef-cake and shit AND I smoke. WTF did that eight months sans nicotine do for me except make my booty bigger, clear my sinuses, increased my sense of smell, and decreased the amount of cute summer stuff in my closet that actually FITS???? I know, I'll quit again soon. Last night I chugged a large-ish glass of merlot while cleaning the house. Then I decided to go smoke a couple of cigarettes. Now my throat is sore and I'm mentally berating my own damned stupidity. You'd think I was addicted or something.....

Okay, I didn't mean for this to turn into a mini-bitch-fest but there you have it. Those are the things on my mind lately. Work. Smoking. And my big Ass. Oh, I almost forgot this one:

The kid is staying home this summer. She's been spending nine hours per day all alone while the spouse and I do the job thang. I feel like nine different types of a neglectful parent, so does anyone have any (cheap!) ideas that I can do with the rugrat in the evenings? We've played soccer, taken a walk, gone to the mall, and now I'm at a loss. The cheap movie theater in our area is Skankeeeee! so that's not an option unless I double up on the meds before I go. Last time I gave in and went I spent two hours after the movie trying to disenfect my shoes. Yuck!

So, suggestions?

I'm back. Not that I've been missed. I'm sure my 1.5 readers were avidly wondering if I died from over-Taeboing, but unfortunately for my thighs, I haven't been doing much of shit lately. I mean, I will tell you this: I quit my job of 12 and a half years and opened my own insurance agency. Yes, it's not been my lifelong goal of being an insurance pimp that OWNS the playground that the ho's work in, but what can a girl do? I got tired of working for the man, paying my mortgage while my boss bought a new car every week. So, I kinda decided I'd be the man for a change. I mean, really! If you can't screw the man, then screw yourself is my theory on it all. Needless to say, being a small business owner has consumed ALL of my free time. I haven't been online for fun in fifty-kajillion years or something like that. I won't be nearly as neglectful in the future. I need this outlet to bang out my frustrations, random thoughts, and various ponderings. Or else I get all pissy. And yes, I'm currently pissy.

Despite the big job change, the spouse and I still took the kid to Cozumel for vacation. I mean, the tickets were paid for and all that so..... we just sucked it up, raped the savings account, and spent 7 days laying in the Mexican sun. Honestly, it was fun, but it still wasn't as good as the first time we went sans child. The vibe there isn't always kid friendly and I'm not 100% on this, but I think my daughter learned what the flaming pirate is. (It's something pirate, I can't remember) Maybe I should refresh my memory on urban dictionary dot com.

Or maybe not.

So, anyone out there need any insurance? I'm sellings, all I'm saying.....

For the past two weeks the spouse and I have been rolling out of bed at 6am to Taebo. Facing uber-fit workout gurus Billy and Shellie Blanks first thing in the morning (prior to coffee) is a daunting task, but I have managed to do it. "They" say that it takes 21 days to form a habit, so I'm hoping by the end of next week I'll be more apt to stick with this in the long run. I'm still working out a couple nights as well. So far? The spouse has lost three pounds, and I've gained one.

Yeah, don't feed me that shit about muscle weighing more than fat and all that.... I KNOW muscle weighs more and it burns more calories and it looks better than the cottage cheese butt I'm currently sporting. BUT, I still need the numbers on the scale to go down as well.

Patience, Ang. Patience.

In other news fronts, I received notice that my daughter's after school care is closing. She's a fourth grader and a VERY mature ten year old. What's everyone's opinion on allowing her to stay at home from 3:00 to 5:15 by herself? We're gonna give it a try and see how things go, but I am having a hard time feeling okay with this. Groovn-spouse and I still both tend to be overprotective. I mean, Chloe is our only child, a beautiful baby girl, and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she is starting to get boobs and hair everywhere. AND she started her period!!

I mean, I look like a young twenty something. (nudge nudge wink wink) I CAN'T possibly have a daughter that looks thirteen!

Wish me luck on the working out thang. It's almost bathing suit weather and I have seven more weeks before leaving for Cozumel.

I've never really considered myself a Chicken Little kinda of gal. The sky isn't falling and life doesn't suck. I mean, MOST of the time I don't particularly generate the whole doom and gloom outlook on life. Can I be pessimistic? Hell yeah. But I don't revel in it like some.

BUT...

This economy shit sucks major ass. (spoken like a true, well-educated, gentile southerner)

I hate spending my shoe money on gas for the car. I hate spending my Gray Goose money on milk and bread. (heaven forbid I actually switch to cheap vodka. I'd rather be thirsty!) I hate spending my vacation money on inflated utility bills. I hate worrying about throwing money away by investing in a moderate risk, market-based retirement plan. I mean, if I save and save, then I would be SO FREAKING PISSED OFF if the stock market went all depression era sucky and I lost all my Geritol money. Damn it.

So, I think I'm going to adopt the Marie Antionette theory on life. We shall all eat cake and to hell with the rest.

I refuse to continue to avidly soak up my daily allowance of cnn or money.com. I won't look at the political news or watch debates or worry about going green. I refuse to hear anything mentally distressing--except the latest on Britney. Instead I will focus on fashion, entertainment, and the horoscopes. Maybe the comics. But not even the jumble because it just pisses me off when I can't think of the answer.

Maybe I'll even go hippy. Except that I must bathe daily and wear cute shoes. So, maybe not so much on the hippy thing. But starting today, I begin my quest to become ignorant, uninformed, and blissfully unaware of the world around me.

Just you wait, in two months time, I'll bet I even start watching Flavor of Love.

I hate my job. I know, it's been said before, but unfortunately in this instance I'm probably in agreement with at least ninety percent of the working population. I hate ungrateful customers who won't lift a finger to scratch their own ass. I hate liars and frauds and cheats who try to 'get one over' on the insurance company. I hate this office, with it's florescent lighting and dirty green carpet. I hate my boss with his inability to do anything at all, including buying some goddamned paper towels and coffee at Wal-mart without me spoon feeding it to him. Most of all, I hate my no-work-ethic-having, calling-in-sick, lazy-ass motherfucking co-workers.

Now, that venom all spewed out in the open, here's my dilemna:

I get paid quite a bit for this job. Enough so that I'm having a hard time changing jobs without taking a pretty harsh pay cut. The family won't starve if I did this, but our Cozumel trips and weekly dinners out would come to a screeching halt for a while. And I'm pretty sure amazon.com, oldnavy.com, and penneys.com would no longer know me on a first name basis. I might even have to let go of the platinum visa for a while. Well, scratch that last bit, I won't be POOR, just not living up to my usual quality of life. Yes, this sounds snotty to me and like a no brainer. BUT at what point is your mental happiness worth those extra zeroes at the end of your paycheck?

It should be never, right? But that's not the case at all. Not for me, and not for tons of other people out there, counting down the days each week until Friday. Then trying to cram a weeks' worth of life into the next two days.

The spouse is currently doing his semi-annual 'business trip' to Las Vegas and I've been playing at being a single mom for the past several days. I have to say that I honestly think that anyone being a solo parent (or at least a GOOD, solo parent-anybody can be a sucky parent) has had my highest regards since the first overnight trip the spouse went on. It's hard being the only one there, with no one to turn to and say, "I've had enough. It's your turn."

I still remember the first time Bill went out of town. Eight days and seven nights in Atlanta, Georgia. The rugrat was about 14 months old and I lost seven pounds while he was gone. I missed him so badly, and was so stressed about getting to work on time, making a healthy dinner for just the 1.5 of us, and still keeping the house in perfect order... well, let's just say that at the time, I was in hell. Now I just realize that I'm a lucky girl to miss her husband so badly. We've been married almost twelve years and I still get depressed when he leaves. Aaah, luv twoo luv....

Anywhoo.... the low point of this trip has been Bill calling on a Saturday night. While I'm home with the kiddo, after cancelling drunken girlfriend plans, (the kid's sleepover plans had fallen through) and he's had a few beers and is out partying in Vegas with some co-workers and customers. Dude, don't piss me off like that. You won't like the results. But, I can proudly admit that instead of getting all whiney and Pitiful Mclonlipants, I put on a Taebo dvd and rocked out the hour long workout. Now, if Bill could just KEEP pissing me off for the next couple of months, I'd have the abs of my dreams.... :-)

Yep, it's that time of year again ladies. Time for the 2008 version of your Annual Spring into the Gym Before Your Chubby Ass Hits the Beach. Otherwise known as the Desperation Point. I have a Cozumel trip planned and two of my very tan and skinny friends are going to be laying on the beach next to me. To put it delicately, if I don't do something, I'm gonna stand out a bit. And not in a good way. I mean, I'm not trying to be the skinny drunk blonde in Carlos and Charlies sporting a tiny skirt and bikini top and you KNOW is gonna puke those Rum Runners all over that sweaty boy that's grinding up on her... I just want to the cute, un-jiggly, kinda-tan mom. I'm good with that.

Wish me luck. Send me good karma. Or good willpower.....

Once again I took an unintentional hiatus from blogging. It's just that I've been trying to get back into the whole soccer mom groove and frankly, February soccer tournaments suck bunghole. Last Saturday I spent seven hours outside, freezing my butt off, sportin' the Bono look with a hat, hoodie over the hat, and large sunglasses (it's not a good look for me either. Hot as hell for Bono, not so cute for me) trying to cover every square inch of my face to prevent the hypothermia from setting in. The kid played four games, the spouse was coaching. So I was chillin (pun totally intended) alone on the opposite side of the field until my sister showed up for the last two games. I guess all that matters is Chloe had a good time. The fact that I bravely pust aside my own comfort for the love of my child is something that will go unnoticed....

Sidenote: That last bit was total sarcasm. I am NOT one of those martyred moms who give up their lives just because they gave birth. I'm proud of my daughter and love her more than anything on the whole fucking planet, but that doesn't mean I have to make her my sole, top priority in life. If that makes me sound selfish, so be it. I do the supermom thang, but the rugrat is fully aware that although I'm MOM, I'm also Angie the girl. That means sleepovers get shared. --ie. the kid gets a friend to stay the night Friday and I cater to them. Movies, popcorn, staying up late, video games, candy etc.... THEN Saturday night Mom and Dad get to have their sleepover while the kid goes to Grandma's house without bitching about it. See, I'm teaching my child to compromise while simultaneously paving the way for living room sex with the spouse. It's a win, win situation all the way around.

Wow. I got a little off track. Let's just say that I'm trying to prevent my beautiful, intelligent, soccer star that the only child syndrome is not for her. It's difficult to say the least, but we're working at it.

Hpoe everyone's Valentine's Day was awesome. I got my super hot spouse a Zune and a box of chocolates. The love was there, trust.