Okay, so I don't know what's changed, but I feel a LOT more positive about my job choice. I recently went to Los Angeles for a week of training and spent most of the time out there talking to new business owner/agents that have less experience and are dealing with FAR greater obsticles than I. For example, the single mom with two kiddos and she's starting her own business, just like me. But minus the support of a fabulous husband (who also brings home a pretty decent income to support me in the style I'd like to become accustom to) Or, the young father of one, whose wife is expecting baby number 2 in the middle of December. What the hell are they living on right now? It wasn't really a learning experience from the training aspect, but talking to other people who are trying to work out the exact same issues as me was abso-freaking-lutely awesome. Needless to say, I came back to hillbilly country with a far different outlook on how to run my business. First and foremost, I REFUSE to let myself get so stressed out that I cannot function. So, I updated my crazy meds and started drinking more. (Kidding! at least about the crazy meds part. :-)
I'm talking about issues with the spouse as well. Holding stuff back so he doesn't worry won't do either of us any good, and could possibly hurt our relationship. That's veddy veddy bad. But, consider that shit nipped in the bud.
Also, I managed to crank out with the Christmas shopping. Visa is gonna probably call to see who Really Used that Card, because normally I'm a pretty conservative credit card user. But, fuck it. I'm broke and the kid's birthday is next week. Christmas a few weeks after that. I bought the 'happy' gifts first. You know, the ones for all the little kids in your life that you love and Cant Wait To See Them Open This From Aunt Ang!!!!!!! That kind of stuff always puts me in the best Christmasy moods. Then I bought Frosty the Snowman ring tone for my cell, so it would remind me to unclench and have some eggnog, beeyotch. Last night I even left work about an hour early to wrap gifts and get the under the tree. Now, I still haven't bought the 'boring, sucky' gifts. You know the ones I'm talking about. The gift-card-only-please-include-a-receipt-i-only-shop-here difficult crap. Like for father-in-laws and obscure 2nd cousins on your husband's side that you only see once a year, and for the past three years you've receieved the exact same suck-ass pair of 99 cent bin gloves...... Yeah, those gifts. The ones that you just want to write them a check and say Ho Ho Ho.
sidenote: I'm being unfair about the father-in-law thing. He's not too hard to buy for, and they always get me something fabulous. Sorry, my bad.
This Friday the kid has invited 10 girls to spend the night with her, for a birthday slumber party. I always advise the girl to over-invite because around the holidays its difficult to get everyone to show. Well, 8 girls rsvp'd so I guess this weekend is going to be filled with cake, sleepover squeals, presents, and Valium. (okay, if I put the Valium in the cake, do you think anyone would ever find out?) Kidding! I wouldn't waste the good stuff on some little girls! :-)
I'm bitching about it, but honestly, I'm really excited for my baby girl. She's turning 11, and acts 21. She's 5'3", 102 pounds and already has curves AND her period. WTF?? When did she grow up on me? The funny thing is, the only way I can convince the child to come sit with me and give me hugs and kisses is to threaten to have another baby to love on. THAT gets her running to me with open arms. I miss that tiny little girl who couldn't pronounce 'rl' together. (as in girl or world) The baby who would crawl up in my lap and shower me with kisses that I didn't have to beg, bribe, or blackmail for. THAT's the kind of stuff worth stressing over.
Not, some stupid idea that I'm a bad businesswoman. That I can deal with.
Wish me luck with the party, and if you actually have Valium, send it my way! I'll accept vodka as well.