I've always been in charge of the family's finances. When we were in our early twenties, it was paying of students loans and credit cards. Late twenties it was buying a house and making it all purty and stuff. Early thirties have been all about saving for college, retirement, a vacation. Just Saving and Not Spending! I'm good at this money thing. I keep our credit in great condition and our savings accounts are bigger each month rather than smaller. I'm not bragging. I'm a Capricorn. It's what we do.

Now that the new job thing started, I've seen a large difference in my prior monetary arrangements. So, I talked to the kid and the spouse and let them know that we must pull together as a team, and learn to be more frugal. Turning off lights when you leave a room, eating rather than going to a nice restaurant with a large bar tab. Maybe skipping constant weekends at the lake. Well, it was all agreed that we would do this together and make it work. I mean, it's not like I'm trying to make us eat Ramen EVERY single day, just once in a while. Maybe opt for sloppy joes and a game of Scrabble, rather than those luscious bacon-wrapped filets and a bottle of merlot. (damn, this being frugal shit sucks sometimes!) Regardless, I was all gung-ho until Sunday.

The kid is out of school for the summer. She's tired of staying home every day. She's bored. So Sunday morning she asked to go to the movies. Well, since I found out Friday about an $800 business expense I need to write a check for, I asked her to find something at the 'dollar' movie theater, rather than the expensive one. And that dad would take her, while I stayed home to make dinner. (red beans and rice, a recipe that takes about four hours) She agreed. Ten minutes later, she and the spouse come to tell me they're going to a matinee at the 'not a dollar' theater. I got pissed. Rapidly. Then I cried and cried because it appeared that I was in the frugality boat all alone, and the spouse and kid didn't care. Groovn-husband was mad because I got mad. We've NEVER had an argument, but Sunday was a close call. I mean, it was only an eleven dollar difference between movie prices, but the point was that I felt let down by their un-cooperativeness. (is that even a word?) I also felt scared that this job change is a big mistake. That I'm personally responsible for ruining our family's financial future. Combined with the fact that things at the office have died down ,and I can't even get a damned Family Member to return my call so I can give them a quote. WTF?

It's frustrating, very scary, infinitely stressful, and I'm wondering if I can really do this. But I'm still trying.